I am busy working on my NCMEC reporting tool and all other things I want to do take a sideline until I am done with that. I have a very, very special thing planned that is proper lolcow content and if I have my way it will be done before the end of the month. Until then, suffer more food reviews.

Many moons ago while I was still in Europe someone sent me a three part kit for Billy Mitchell's Ricky's Hot Sauce. I have wanted to test this for a while and have just gotten around to it. In true Florida white trash style I went to Bdubs and got some boneless wings (adult chicken tendies) then tossed them myself.

If you don't know I lived briefly in Buffalo and during that time I tried two dozen wing and poutine places. Canada is right across the Friendship Bridge and as a result Buffalo has Tim Horton's and poutine. I'd walk to the university campus each morning and get a farmer's breakfast. I discovered Buffalo had a fusion style Buffalo Wing Poutine and it is amazing.

Ultimately, as a basic bitch, I just like Frank's RedHot. It's tangy, runny and with just enough kick and pepper flavor to justify eating what is basically straight vinegar. I like my wings completely drenched in sauce, though I also love Nashville style if it's going to be dry rub.

Anyways at Bdubs I got some medium sauce and I got Frank's at home for zero calorie sipping. No I'm not joking I enjoy it straight. I'm not some sort of hot sauce expert I am just mentally ill.

Billy Mitchell has a note in the lid of the box, by the way. I encourage you to read it if you're interested. I find it funny how he uses the grammatically incorrect "me and my father" to emphasize that it was his idea as a child which made his family rich. Billy always was a winner from the get-go.

The three flavors I got were:

HOT

Their default. I am not a "spicy is better" kind of person and as I have gotten older I have become less tolerant of spice, unfortunately. It reminds me a lot of Tabasco because it's a Louisiana-style sauce. I don't know if this is a common thing outside of Florida but in certain places down south it is as common as salt and pepper to find Tabasco sauce on a table. Since Billy is from Florida, it makes sense that's what he'd go for.

It has a smoke taste and spice but it's not overwhelming. A lot of cheap sauces will over-emphasize cheap flavors like extra heat and extra smoke to hide a poor quality ingredient. You can taste the pepper mash (Louisiana-style is fermented pepper mash) and not wanting to let people taste the mash is a sign you're hiding something.

It was good on the wings and good on fries and good by itself. However, this is more smokey than I'd like if I was going to drench wings in it. It would pair excellent with eggs.

JALAPENO

This one's good. Like I said before you don't want to hide the pepper mash and this one's really flavorful. Kind of grassy? The bottle itself is green so it makes sense, maybe there's more chlorophyll or something. Either way it's a really pleasant flavor. I'm not sure what I'd put it on though. A salsa? Something you'd eat with corn chips. That does sound good.

HABANERO

To Billy's credit he does a great job balancing heat. Eating food so hot you can't taste it is a thing for redditors. If you ever hear about something being Habanero hot it's either uncomfortably hot on purpose or just generic sauce sold to the masses. Nowadays it's "Ghost pepper". I bought some Tostito's Ghost Pepper salsa for Halloween and I took literally one bite before capping it again. I only get so many calories in a day and I'm going to make sure I taste each one.

It's spicy enough to feel it in the nostrils but it doesn't cause running nose or eyes. It wakes you up and lingers but does not hurt or sting. The flavors of the pepper mash work through the heat and it is so distinctly cajun in style that it conjures mental images of screened-in back porches on swamp when trying to figure out how to describe how it tastes.

Honestly they're all winners and I'm kind of impressed. Though, to be honest, it needs more vinegar.

Thanks for supporting - this month has been really difficult and I appreciate you guys.

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